Chapter 1: Feed them.
They’ll anything that is guaranteed to clog their arteries, fry it, batter it, grease it up. They like it dripping.
Chapter 2: Drink.
No proof too high. Alcohol is like oxygen. NOT SAYING THEY’RE all drunks but……..
Chapter 3: Love them.
It’s a dramatic ride hold on for as long as you can. Also make sure you have excellent health insurance.
Chapter 4: Touch them.
Passionate and aggressive. Keep a pair of boxing gloves by your bed.
Chapter 5: Leave them be.
They’ll blow up from time to time and you won’t always understand why or why the force of the blow is so HUGE. Just walk away. They are also capable of ages and ages of long cold silences. Learn to enjoy those.
Chapter 6: Talk with them.
They’re all talk. A lot of it is baloney. It’s all entertaining and if they read they are compelling speakers so a lot of it is also sheer poetry. Sort the bad from the good.
Chapter 7: Support them.
Be there with bail, a good attorney, a strong minded therapist. They will test your loyalty.
Chapter 8: Trust them.
Eh? Buyer Beware here.
Chapter 9: Be worthy of her.
There are gems in the pile, worth the sorting, but there are also rattlesnakes. If you get a gem, you’ve earned it and it will be well worth your wait.
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